10 things single people should stop complaining about
Text: Denise Ngo
Photos: Getty Images
The late, great Nora Ephron once said, "The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women. It's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again."
There's always a reason to complain, regardless of your relationship status, but whining about these aspects of singleness might just cost you a chance at love:
1. "BRB dying alone with cats"
Most of the time, we hear this from people who don't even own a cat, let alone enough of them to necessitate "crazy cat lady" status. If you really want to meet someone new, get a dog. Dogs not only keep you physically active, but walking them forces you out of the house - which is important for anyone looking to connect with different people, say, a handsome stranger walking an equally handsome golden retriever.
2. "I hate eating alone"
We get it - ordering for one feels a little awkward, but we draw the line at choosing to skip a meal rather than eat alone. Nor is it a good idea to eat McDonald's five days in a row rather than buy (or cook) a decent meal because "it's too sad to eat something that nice all alone." Look, there is no better time than when you're single to eat something you really love, as you can have the whole thing to yourself. Eating a plate of spaghetti "Lady and the Tramp"-style might seem cute, but once the sheen of new love has worn off, it gets annoying when your S.O. keeps stealing your meatballs.
3. "If only I had someone to watch movies with"
Movie nights aren't a couple activity. If you really want to watch the latest superhero flick, then find some fellow single friends to go with you - but if none are available, and you're unwilling to wait for the DVD release, then go watch it by yourself late at night! At least it's dark, so no one will recognize you.
4. "I'm so ugly"
Chances are, you aren't actually ugly - and even then, lots of people who don't conform to the mainstream standard of beauty manage to find love on the basis of the personalities, their success, or their character qualities. Everyone has insecurities, but don't let them define your personality because that sure won't attract a partner. And if you're really concerned about your looks, hit up the gym or look up beauty tutorials on YouTube - there's millions to choose from and all are free.
5. "Guys only like b*tches" and "Nice guys win last"
Not only are these statements untrue, but they completely pin the blame on the other person instead of showing you what you can change. If it seems like you keep losing out to "b*tchy" girls, it might be because you're either too boring or passive, or because you keep going for the wrong guys. And as far as "nice guys" go, it's not actually nice to identify yourself as the good guy, and women as idiots who don't know any better than to go for bad boys.
6. "My biological clock is ticking" and "I'm getting old"
These statements are the equivalent of saying "I'm so fat" when you're 165 cm and weigh 50 kgs. Unless you're pushing 40 and still single, it's a bit melodramatic to whine about "aging." Thanks to advances in science, we not only enjoy longer life expectancies, but safer pregnancies, even after age 30. Nor do we live in a society where women are forced to marry at a young age so that they can give birth to 10 kids before menopause (also known as the age of death, since people succumbed to illnesses and starvation much earlier back in the day). If all goes well, you'll live until age 80, so what's the rush?
7. "I just want to be happy"
There's charming self-effacement, and then there's being a loser. Lots of attached people envy singles for the time they have to travel, advance their education, or even relax alone with a book. If you want to be happy, no one's stopping you - and the more things you have going on in your life, the more attractive people will find you.
8. "No one will ever want me"
Now there's a defeatist statement if we ever heard one. We understand the sense of impending doom when your 31st birthday sneaks by and you don't have as much as a date for Saturday night, but would YOU feel attracted to a guy who insisted that no one would ever want him? We didn't think so.
9. "Couples are so annoying"
Sour grapes, anyone? Of course it's annoying when couples clog our Facebook feeds with mushy statuses or block the entrance to the train doors, but it's way too easy for singles to make themselves look jealous and bitter when complaining about how much they hate seeing people in love.
10. "There are no good guys/girls out there"
Variants of this statement include, "All the nice guys are taken or gay," "Women are all evil," and "Singapore has no prospects, I need to move." Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. Maybe you just need to be more patient. Heck, maybe the problem is you. But one thing's for sure: we're FAR more likely to date a guy (or hook him up with our friends) when he's positive, hopeful, and less critical of the general population.