Because only freaks would let this happen to them, right?
There’s a great quote in the movie Her (2013) where a jaded character describes love as a “form of socially acceptable insanity.” And yeah, we’d have to agree. Falling in love is terrifying. One minute you’re leading a simple life as a single person, and the next, you’re handing over all that hard-earned autonomy for a life of physical, emotional, and financial co-dependence. You’re completely vulnerable. Falling is love is basically akin to giving another person permission to ruin your life. (Of course, they can also make you incredibly happy, but those odds can feel a little long once you’ve gotten used to being unattached.)
It’s easy to blame bad luck and a lack of opportunity for your perpetual singleness, but if you really are looking for love, maybe the problem is that you’re scared of it. For every interested party you’ve encountered, you’ve contrived a hundred excuses for why the person isn’t right for you. It’s not that you don’t believe in love. It’s that deep down inside, you can’t disassociate love with pain, and after seeing so many relationships fail, the joy of a relationship isn’t worth the agony of heartbreak. It's not about being single. It's about avoiding love altogether.
Ever gotten the feeling that you threw away something that could have been amazing? Read on to unpack the fearful attitudes keeping you from gratifying relationships.