How to prevent your arguments from escalating to unnecessary heights
"The heart can't be changed easily but the head can be persuaded,” says a character in Disney’s Frozen. Aha, truth serum. You see, when you use your head, disagreements become "discussable." But when you act impulsively with your heart, you tend to hold on to your beliefs (however irrational they may be) and come across as an un-budging stubborn ass, even if you aren't.
The way you fight determines the longevity and health of your union. Unfortunately, not all lovebirds fight constructively. Unskilled fighters, unseasoned in the emotional art of give and take, tend to fight reactively and lose track of the original pain point. They even fight in front of the kids and make them take sides (Careful now, we're talking demand for future therapy here). Such fight styles often regress into mean insults and abusive statements that make matters worse than they already are.
Fights are double-edged swords. They can break and bond. When cruel words escape their word pods and breathe life, fights get ugly. The best fights use goalposts to help them end the tiff and boost love, with both parties compromising or agreeing to disagree. Unfortunately, most fights are born out of unresolved frustrations and unleashes the Medusa in us. But wait, it's actually possible to fight logically about tough topics like affairs, him stealing money from your purse's secret compartment or sex dropping five notches from bad to what's that? Here's what you shouldn't do or say when you feel the red monster rage inside of you.